Hi Troy,

I think the self – help books sort of psyched you put in a way. Let me know what you think. Many of them are outdated. They put too much expectations on people. I think positive affirmations are okay up to a point, but in truth, they are not reality. We just can’t be all this and all that all the time. For example, if someone suffers from chronic debilitating depression, it’s like telling them “snap out of it! And just be happy! You can choose to be happy, so just be happy!.

Would we tell that to a friend who struggles with schitzoohrenia, borderline personality disorder, manic depression, etc? These are real illnesses and can’t be willed away. It is an illness that is helped by Psychotherapy, DBT therapy, Atypical antipsychotics medications, antidepressants, intensive outpatient or hospitalized therapy etc. We can’t choose to “be happy” and “awesome” all the time, we are not wired that way, and I don’t want to be that way. We all have our flaws, vulnerabilities, and when we show our vulnerabilities to another person, that is what makes us loved. No one likes a perfect person, or someone pretending to be who they are not. Try to not think about those books anymore because they are not reality and too restrictive, and many people do not find constant positive affirmations helpful, research has shown. Just keep being who you are,  do things you like and not what other people like, things that take the pressure off, and good things will start to happen.