Hi John,

I’m sorry I’m a bit late in getting back to you. What it all boils down to is “hurt people, hurt people”. There is an excellent book I have read that reads this subject, and it has helped me understand myself alot better, and the people who abused me terribly in my childhood and the men I have met in my adulthood.

I It also helps me, understand me, and why I hurt the ones I love. However, I am not in a relationship, and I have learned alot in intensive therapy and 12 step programs, as what drives your wife to do what she did, drive me to do what I did. I have learned alot about myself and why this happens, and think I can help you and give you alot of insight. I have to get to a mandatory group, but would like to re-read your post and get back with you tonight if that would be okay. I am happy to see you are getting alot of great responses from others as well.