Dear Macy:

You asked for thoughts, here are mine:

You wrote about your boyfriend, the father of four adult children: “… he’s never happy with anything I do..he’s very judgemental..and always right..everyone is always wrong”

And then you wrote about him as a parent: “(he)  has spoiled them so much”- financially, perhaps, having given them money, but what if he was with his children the way he is with you, what if he was never happy with anything they did, judged them harshly; what if in relationships with them he pointed to them being always wrong?

That wouldn’t be good parenting/ good relationships. It would cause his children to be angry with him, and just like you are considering ending the relationship, they may be interested in the same, except that money keeps them around.

He probably knows it and they do too. And it may be that in the strangest way, it is working for all of them because changing the nature of the relationships is too difficult, complicated and will require so much work.

anita