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Hi Ray,
I’m so glad you did not break things off with him. It would have saddened me, because he sounds like a terrific guy. I too struggle with severe anxiety and panic, which I am trying to work through in my 12 step programs, and therapy.
Since, I was abandoned over and over by an Alcoholic mother, I did not get the love I needed in my childhood, and this has caused me significant problems in my adulthood in my relationships with men. Since I was always being “rejected” and disapproved of by my mother. If I see the slightest bit of perceived rejection from a man (such as perceived, where he is not meeting my emotional needs, distancing himself, where in fact he is not, or we are fighting, or if I sense he likes another woman) I go right back to my childhood, and the feelings of rejection, abandonment, being unloved, seeking approval come into my mind, and I will “reject” the man, before he “rejects” me. In other words, I’m too afraid of someone not wanting me or loving me anymore, so I will cut the relationship off..just like that, only to regret it terribly later. This too, is something I am working through in therapy. Im glad you decided to hang in there.