Dear marv:

You wrote that you “don’t want to ask who is right or wrong”- why not? Being “emotionally and verbally abusive” is wrong, and it is easy to determine that, took me less than a split second.

How do you navigate such abuse? Avoid it, stay away from it. Have no contact. No other way.

His daughter doesn’t owe him to be present for his rantings and abuse. You don’t owe him to be present for it yourself or to facilitate your partner’s presence for his abuse.

Her father is remorseless, expressed no intention (or motivation) to stop his abuse, has he? He feels justified and his MO is to blame others for his distress. Blaming others means he is not taking responsibility for his distress and is not motivated to look into his thinking and his behavior.

Again, navigate by staying away, avoiding contact. Protect yourself, your partner and especially any future innocent lives (children) from being exposed to this heavy duty abuse.

anita