Koala,

When your boyfriend continually pushes you away in order to avoid difficult conversations, and then never apologizes or takes responsibility for his behavior, he is building a wall between you and your connection/intimacy.  The more he does this, the taller the wall becomes and the harder it is to break it down.  You can do and say however much you want that you accept him as he is and that you love him unconditionally.  But you can’t fix what he has broken.  Only he can do that, by taking responsibility and doing the things that need to be done, having the conversations that need to be had.  You can’t help someone who doesn’t want your help.  I appreciate your wanting to help him.  But he needs to help himself first and acknowledge what is going on for him.  What is he afraid of?  Why does he continually push you away?  Until he is honest with himself and can tell his truth, you’ll never be able to break down that wall.  No matter how hard you try.

You said that you are a strong independent woman away from him.  Maybe that’s what you should focus on now.  Being the strong independent woman you are, with or without him.

Good luck!

Take Care and Many Blessing to You!

Dawn