Hi Harold,

It sounds to me that she may have some unresolved issues (maybe mental health), or maybe from a prior bad relationship, with Paranoia, also called Paranoid Personality Disorder, where someone always wants space, and feels like they are getting constantly checked on, or someone is going behind their back and sneaking in on their conversations, thus they become emotionally and physically unavailable, and unless resolved with therapy, are unable to have any sort of healthy relationship.

Even if you were in a relationship with her, you would perhaps not be happy, because she would accuse you of doing things you are not doing, such as “cheating” “looking at her cell phone behind her back” “talking to your friends about her”..you would always be constantly defending yourself.

If you are really in love with this woman, I would back off a little and let her take the lead and let her do all the initiating. If she really likes you, she will ask you to do things, or stop over, call, text. If she doesn’t, it might be time to move on to someone who wants to be in a healthy, loving, committed relationship.