Hi Cruzzie,

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Being emotionally attached with someone who has caused hurt is such a difficult and painful thing to go through. Thoughts like this person was the one, or they were perfect for us can also hurt us because they make us hold on to hope (if they were the one, they must come back) and stop us from moving forwards with our life. If this person has made the decision to no longer be part of your life, then she is not the one.

I have also gone through the phase of interpreting sings of the person I am emotionally attached to (still sort of going through it) and for me I think it was searching for something to attach hope to ( I saw her name on a shop sign, that must mean something) because the alternative is painful.

What has helped me in this process is admitting that she met certain needs of mine, for connection and for closeness, admitting that I had those needs, and actively trying to meet those needs (to an extent) by increasing the time I spent with friends, increasing the depth of conversations I had with other people, expressing my needs more to friends/family.

I’m sorry I don’t have more definitive/more hopeful input. It sucks, but hang in there, be mindful of your thoughts and of your needs and try to meet them actively.

Best,

M