Hi Shell,

1. You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. Just because your ex is married, may not necessarily mean “he is happy and living the good life” he may be unappy, which is why he may try to pick fights with you. I know you have to see him, but try not to get involved if he is talking to you. You don’t have to have a conversation with him. It’s not your job anymore. Just excuse yourself and act busy, or say you have to be somewhere, just try to limit your interaction with him. Don’t allow him to pick a fight with you. Give him “yes” and “no” remarks. Soon, he will tire and move on to his next victim.

When he starts in on you, don’t get angry. That’s what he wants. Feel sorry for him Instead. Feel sorry that he is such an angry person that he is a bully and picks fights to make him feel better about himself. If he starts in on you, don’t fight back or act angry, that’s what he wants, a reaction from you. Smile and say each time, I’m sorry you are having such a bad day, I hope it gets better. Then walk away. He won’t know what to say, if he says something, you don’t have to answer him. Just say, if you are finished here, I have alot to do today, my friends are waiting for me. You can even insert “my boyfriend”..if he sees you being happy with friends and a boyfriend, he won’t feel the need to put you down. Just keep acting happy around him, like you have places to go, people to see and you are having the time of your life. If he sees you sad and acting lonely, he will pick on you, bullies pick on the weak and lonely. Be and act like the strong and popular.

You can’t predict the future. Just because you don’t have a man in your life right now, does not mean you won’t in the future. Have hope for better things. Visualise what it is you want, it will happen, do this everyday. Go out, and try to get out of your head, this will take you out of the rut you are in, and negative thinking. Think and be grateful if all the things you do have. Join an online dating service, a support group, a singles dance. Go for a walk in a dog park, so many nice men walk their dogs. Ask someone if you can walk their dog. Volunteer to help others. That is the best way to make you feel better about yourself. Volunteer at your local soup kitchen, church, animal shelter/sanctuary. Join a book club, volunteer at your city’s welcome tourist center. Join the YMCA. So many things you can do. You can be happy being alone. Many people are single and very happy. You won’t be “alone forever”. Love you for who you are now, and do what you love and men will gravitate toward you. Keep us posted.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by Eliana.