Dear Gia,

Thank you for your reply. Don’t worry about the html codes. I think you have done everything that you could in the situation as civilly as possible. And it’s not a case of ‘winning or losing’, as per that tenant’s beliefs. I’m sorry to hear that the people that you sought some assistance from have been rather ‘dismissive’ to your concerns.

As a health professional currently training in mental health, I’ve learnt that in some mental health conditions there can be incongruence in behaviour sometimes, especially when the man is faced with a person of an ‘authoritative’ nature (i.e. your landlord, the police). And yes, it is hard when you are dealing with someone who has a Hyde and Jekyll personality. <– The best advice I’ve read dealing with people like that is mainly avoidance. Yes, they can be charming, but eventually the cracks will show in their behavior. Trust your instincts – they rarely would be wrong. If I were in your situation, I would have that fear as well.

If you do bump into your next door neighbor you could strike up a conversation and ask them if the man downstairs had tried anything threatening. Also let them know that you were the one who knocked on their door during Xmas 2016 (they may not have wanted ‘unwanted’ visitors during their celebration, or maybe they really hadn’t heard your knocks). See how their reaction is like – if they are equally dismissive, then it would seem like you won’t have much support in the apartment building (i.e. would be a good idea to move to a place where you have caring neighbours, or better security). If they appear apologetic and would be concerned, then you have a chance of continuously staying in the place (if you wish to do so).

If there’s one thing that personally irks me when it’s related to authority figures that can be dismissive is that when something goes south in a really bad way, then there’s the regret, and words like, “We should have done this, and that.” There’s a phrase called “Sorry, no cure” (if you’re familiar with it?). I would rather prevent situations, than try to resolve the aftermath.

Moving to a new place is a big decision which can be exhausting. Especially if you have signed a yearly contract with the landlord and have to pay the full accommodation costs until the end of the contract even if you decided to break the contract (which is the norm where I live). I’ve been in situations where I’ve had to suddenly shift out of the place I was living in (and one of the situations was when the owner turned violent towards a family member). If you have friends and family close by, I would consider staying with them until you find a new place elsewhere (e.g. bunking in at a friend’s place and paying half rent).

H