Hi wildoceanflower,

Just want to echo Anita’s point that you are visible here – we hear you (I see a couple of people who responded to your thread) and what you say is important to us that we want to reach out to you and respond to your pain. I thought Anita was trying to let you know that you are visible here even if the people in your life may treat you as invisible. I thought the beauty of this forum is that even though we are all strangers but we are connected by basic human compassion and we offer support to each other through difficult times.

And reading your past threads and current thread, I see that you have been through alot. And I suppose as a wildoceanflower, the ocean seems to be throwing you waves after waves of setbacks and challenges that it is hard to catch a breather. However in all the waves of suffering and pain, I also sense there is this spirit in you like a wild flower with that instinct to try to fight against all these so that you can blossom one day too. I admire your bravery in looking at all the challenges that are in your life now instead of running away from the pain. I admire how you tried different things to see if it can improve your situation. I admire how you try to look for positives “i have just chosen to accept the solitude being grateful i am not worse off”. I admire how you got yourself out of financial danger amidst all these issues that are going on.

I see you trying hard to stay afloat when the ocean throws you all these waves and it can be tiring to do so. I wish that this ocean would become calmer for you so that you can take a rest and blossom the way you are supposed to be. I hear a beautiful soul in you – a loving soul that dares to love and a soul that gave your heart. After being hurt, I think it is quite natural for us to want to protect ourselves for fear of being hurt again.

So I hope that you would nurture your own soul and be compassionate to yourself. What your parents do, what your exes do and what your friends do are all beyond your control. Like Anita has mentioned before, it may be helpful to see what is within our control and what is beyond our control. We cannot control how your parents want to treat you, how your ex is doing and how your friends may take you for granted. But what we can control is how we love ourselves and how we treat ourselves right. When we start looking inwards to nourish our soul and give ourselves the love we deserve, I feel it is a small step in the right direction.

I like this book by Pema Chödrön – When things fall apart. She is an American Buddhist nun who writes with some principles of Buddhism. I do not subscribe to any form of religion but I still felt that what she wrote resonated with me. I am still in the process of reading it and I thought you may want to take a look at it and see if it helps in any way.

Wishing you well my dear!