Dear Luna:

I understand. You wrote in your previous post: “I’m probably a little scared to ask the actual reason as like I said I feel my self esteem is quite low regarding my illness, do you think it’s important for closure to know the reason why so I stop guessing or is it best to just let it go”-

I believe that it is better for our well-being, physical and mental (even the mental is physical, as the mental is made possible by our very physical brain), for out thinking to be congruent with reality, for our thinking to fit reality. The more our thinking fits reality, the better our mental health.

Sometimes reality feels distressing or very … inconvenient, so we avoid it (that would be not asking for his reasons), or escape it, but long term, it harms us, I believe.

Of course, knowing reality depends not only on you asking but on him telling you his truth, his real reasons. When you ask him, you can tell him first that you are interested in the truth, as it is, and that you will be okay with it. That may encourage him to not sugar coat his answer or otherwise give you a dishonest or partially honest answer.

I hope you post again, anytime you’d like. Will be interested to read about your meeting with him.

anita