Hi Anita,

That is quite possible he did think that.  The impression I got at the time was that he was jealous of my ability to be sociable in a positive way.  I didn’t have anything bad to say about anyone & my outlook was positive.  I remember explaining that being away from home gave me a chance to reflect on all the goodness I had there & all the support of my friends & family.  Travelling alone really gave me insight into this & as I met people, we would all talk about our lives back home & why we were travelling, etc. This must’ve been a conversation I had with this guy at some point because I remember feeling good about my journey & so grateful for everything – a time for reflection.  I had posted a couple of photos up on social media to keep people up to date with my journey & at this point he had befriended me on it & possibly saw the support I had from back home.  The reason I suspect this is because, when he argued with me, he used lines such as “you’re just so used to having everyone tell you you’re great & you can’t handle hearing different & some real truths”.  I was flabbergasted!  I couldn’t understand what he was basing this on.  I had been nothing but polite to him & as far as I was concerned, built a nice friendship with him, never judged him, expressed an interest in his life, etc.  It was the strangest outburst.  Crazy and all as this sounds, I think he liked my positivity and inability to allow much get to me, yet at the same time it irked him that someone could be so optimistic.  Therefore, I believe he wanted to get me on something so when I showed a vulnerable side to myself & became emotional & overwhelmed once, he saw this as an opportunity to kick me while I was down.

I’m not sure what it was but when this happened, a few of us were together & others were empathetic & showed me comfort.  They explained that they too had also had days where they would become overwhelmed for being away from home, the unknown, the excitement, the uncertainty of what each day would bring) & they understood it.  I tried to brush it off as I felt foolish but I had some lovely caring people with me.  However this guy believed I was selfish & stated that I was “not the only one to be tired and emotional” & that I was all about myself.  I couldn’t believe it & started to feel like I did overact whereas I can honestly say, I did not.  He made me feel that way at the time.  I don’t think he liked that others were sympathetic towards me.  Later I begged him not to be so cruel & said that I didn’t want to part on bad terms.  He was not interested & turned away from me.  I left in floods of tears & he blocked me from everything, social media, phone.  I left without the want to try and talk to him any further.  I just felt utterly devastated by his nastiness & confused by what had just happened.  Looking bad, I believe that when it was just me & him chatting, travelling, he was inclined to be nicer to me & that was a side to him I got to know & liked but as soon as we were within a group with others he was different & aloof with me.

In terms of my friend, I think she is awesome & even if I didn’t have this confrontation with this guy, I still wouldn’t think he is good for her.  He seemed uncertain about his direction in life but would give off the impression he was in control.  She seemed a bit more certain about her direction but almost like she had her guard up when it came to men & possibly afraid of being hurt.  I don’t believe he could give her the love she needs or wants.  He appeared quite absorbed & I could nearly predict he would leave someone if the going got tough.  In relation to me kissing him, after a few days, I reconsidering not even mentioning it.  She stills appears to hold a torch for him but the distant between them & the lack of direction in his life might be an issue – I don’t know but with me & him it was never, nor would it ever have been anything.  I do remember developing feelings for him at the time & being aware of it but now being at home, in my routine, I can honestly say, he would not be a guy I would normally go for (in every way).  We were different but bonded through travelling & that’s where it would stop.  Then the fight was the final nail in the coffin anyway so I think I owe her the right to decide what she wants to do for herself & give her the opportunity to get to know him better if she feels that strong about him…