Dear anita,

I agree. There’s no need to apologize for asserting your own ideas and opinions in a civilized manner…and those who manage to get offfened and “hurt”, well, I guess it’s their problem, not mine.

However, there are scenarios in which the thing I have done has been offensive based on my own evaluation. On a particular occasion, I remember telling someone a lie about sth personal. At the time I did it because I knew telling her the truth would mean she’d immediately start rumors circulating around, causing unnecessary drama. Time passed, she learned the truth through sb I had confinded in earlier, and so it happened. Rumors, drama, insults…plus being called a liar.

I know that there are lessons to be learned from this…learning to set stronger boundaries to avoid such problems is one of them. I’m still confused, though. I know that lying is a sign of being immature. I admit to the fact that I made a mistake. The person that I’m talking about, however, did not accept a simple apology. She continued with her insulting and talking behind my back, demanding me to actually “show”  how sorry I was rather than just saying it, constantly reminding me of how hurt she was. This got me into thinking that maybe I shouldn’t haveven admitted having done sth wrong in the first place as it only seemed to have had worsen the situation.

With regards to my mom…do you have any advice on what I can do to minimize the tension and anxiety while living in the same house with her?

Mary