Hi Eliana, no we never fought. I thought it was a perfect relationship. The last week we were together he was a bit distant. Like when I tried to kiss him he said my breath smelt and he was going to through up (which it didn’t), he wouldn’t spoon or kiss me. I asked him if everything was fine and he said he was just tired. He started taking his phone with him to the bathroom and when I questioned it, he made up some excuse. Well they only knew each other for two weeks, so I don’t even know if it was much. But yeah I think he was very confused. I didn’t trust him the last week we were together and felt like there was something wrong. As he was now all of a sudden always on his phone. Once he ended it I was very angry (I still am) so I sent him some angry messages which he didn’t reply to. All he said was that I needed to move on, and was sick of faking it. When he left I did throw out some of his clothes , and he told me that it wasn’t fair. I think he is quiet selfish as he doesn’t realise what he did to me wasn’t fair! I just need to accept it, but I’m just sad as he used to be so nice to me and would look st me with love. I don’t know how it could change so fast! He also knew my thoughts on cheating and said he would never do that!

I was born in England, but moved to Australia when i was little. My ex’s dad is from England. Yes, we both individually planned on moving to London, coincidentally. Yes this was as i prepared to go travelling and move back to Australia. He let me hand in my resignation and encouraged me when i was nervous in doing so (this was a month before he broke up with me), he knew my job would offer lots of promotion and a good career. Whereas he was in a dead end retail job which he hated. He let me organise to move out the room of my flat (which we shared) yet i had to sort everything out, and he knew i was stressed in doing so. I found someone to move in the same time i handed in my resignation and she moved in a week before we were meant to go travelling. He handed in his resignation a week before we were meant to go away. He had gone travelling around europe for four months with his brother from March to July. He worked in this dead-end job before he left to go travelling then, and they let him come and work there again after he came back in July. When he came back , he was on a new contract and because of this he was still in his 3 month probation period, so only needed to give a weeks notice. The girl he cheated on me with worked at the dead-end job as well, they were only talking for a few weeks. I only know this, because when he lied to my face and said that he hadn’t cheated and would not do that to me, i messaged him when he left and asked him again. I said did you cheat on me, and he said again that he would not hurt me. I didn’t trust him, and had felt uneasy the last week we were together. So i logged into his Facebook on my laptop. I saw that he had been talking to her for two weeks, there was nothing romantic however, the day he broke up with me he said to her i had a really good time last night (when he cheated) can i see you today. I ended it with Emma, i am in her bad books – i was shocked, he was more than in my bad books. So i think he had been talking to her about our relationship for weeks. i don’t know why he couldn’t of come and spoken to me about it – i am the one who is in the relationship with him! I asked him if he could meet up with me that night to get closure, he said no he was busy. And from the Facebook messages i could see that it was because he was meeting up with her.  And another girl who he works with messaged him saying you hooked up with (the girls name), what are you going to say to Emma, you are going away tomorrow. I am so embarrassed that he has been discussing our relationship at work with everyone, and that neither girl cared that he had cheated on me. When i confronted him about it, i dont think he was going to ever tell me. He said he couldn’t tell me to my face on the Saturday when he broke up with me – he just lied and lied. I have let him know throughout the relationship, if he ever cheated on me it would be over. When he found out that i had gone on his facebook he was so angry, but i told him that i only went on there because he wouldn’t tell me the truth. He said please not do it again. To be honest i didn’t trust him throughout the whole relationship, i would check on his phone from time to time. I didn’t like when he went out, this was because he can’t handle his drink and blacks out (so anything could of happened). If we ever went out i would either have to take care of him, or he was just ignore me and be rude. Maybe that was his real personality coming out? I would often resent him as i had to take care of him, or upset as he would leave me. I should of trusted my gut feeling. He was also good at lying to me. Yes I moved out the day after he broke up with me, as we were staying on the couch until we left to go travelling, which was for a week. I couldn’t stay in the flat as it had too many memories. He was meant to pick up some of his stuff as he left some when he moved out. When he was out i was angry and chucked out some of his favourite clothes that he had got travelling. He had ignored all my messages to him after he broke up to me, however the only one he replied to was the one about his things getting thrown out. He said to me, that it wasn’t fair that i chucked some of his things out. He didn’t care about all the things that i had lost.

Hi Eliana,u

Apparently he isn’t with her anymore. His friend messaged me saying to not let what he did to me make me want to leave and go home. Obviously he had only told her his part of the story. She said to me that he did what he thought was best situation and would I of wanted to go away with him if he didn’t feel like that anymore. It’s still a cutting comment. I still feel like he got cold feet. I told her that it obviously wasn’t the best situation telling me the night before, lying and cheating on me. She also told me that he still cares and doesn’t hate me – for someone to do that to me, he obviously doesn’t care. I told her thanks for messaging me but I need to move on delete him from my life and get on with it. I feel like she just messaged me to help him, she wasn’t there so wouldn’t understand everything that happened between us. I still feel like he is using it as an excuse to justify his cold feet/commitment issues.

Hi Anita, I know you wouldn’t know but do you think he will regret his decision? I don’t want to go back with him as he made that pretty clear, and the way that he treated me I wouldn’t take him back. I think he is going back to Australia because he has nothing left. Do you think he will regret what he has done? Or regret losing me? Maybe when he gets home his emotions will change?

I don’t think he will contact me as I have deleted and blocked him off all social media. However his friend messaged me to say don’t let what he has done make me go back home. He made a mistake. And she told me that he did the best situation, and would I want to go away with him even though he doesn’t feel the same.

i think I am overthinking things now and need to move on. As, as you can see we weren’t  really compatible with what we want in life in terms of jobs and responsibilities.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Emma.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Emma.