Hello Readers

It’s my third question and I’m still stuck in the same huff. I’m fed up with convincing my family and husband for divorce;they just don’t understand. It’s been 5 yrs of our lifeless marriage and 1.5 yrs we are living separately. And now people have started abusing me emotionally. My mom feels ashamed of me and says I’ve led her down before people. She believes my husband is a very  nice guy and it’s just because of my open-mindedness and ‘modern’ thinking that I’m in skies. I’ve made it clear to them 100’s of times that I just can’t love him and live with him anymore and after the frequent incidents that took b/w us, I’v lost my trust on him and even relationships. She said that she sometimes feel like beating me up and this hurts me a lot. she is my mom. Earlier I thought that she doesn’t want me to get divorced because of the societal pressure and her concern about my future. But no, this is her own thinking about me and now this hurts me.

I am an overly sensitive person. Whatever happens around me especially with women and children leaves a deep impact on me. And whenever I talk about such things to my mom and express my anger, she starts screaming. Everyone now makes me feel as if i’m bad and they feel ashamed of me. I don’t sat that my mom has stopped loving me, she still does. But, she doesn’t understands me. I don’t how to come out of this. Am I really over-reacting? Am I really that bad? Should I stop worrying about them and move away to begin fresh? I’m pissed of and feel like I am dying each moment. This patriarchal society and orthodox ideologies are ruining my life. I’ve started questioning myself now. Nobody is supporting me. I feel lost – who am i? what do i want? what makes me happy? I was a foodie and now I don’t enjoy any kind of taste. And i know I am depressed….severely. What should I do? Enlighten.