Dear Tatjana:

You are welcome.

You wrote: “I was more ashamed of him finding out I eat cold food at inappropriate times, standing up in the kitchen. I don’t want him to think I’m a freak”-

it is you who thought: “I am a freak!” You projected that thought to him. He may have thought nothing of that sort. Maybe he thought: she must be hungry. Maybe he thought something else. I don’t know, but neither do you unless he tells you and honestly.

Thing is, you were telling yourself that you are a freak before he showed up, only the voice in your head telling you that was weaker in the background, while your focus was, I am supposing, on the pleasure of eating. Correct?

If so, then notice that for as long as you disapprove of your own behavior, that behavior needs to be stopped whether or not you are observed by another person. You are always there to observe and comment on your own behavior. And so, your behavior has to be okay with you.

anita