Anita,

I agree it is not healthy to be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust. But I have seen many times couple rebuild that trust and be stronger than before. I also am only having a hard time with this because I don’t think my boyfriend is doing anything now, I don’t think he’s trying to be sneaky, I don’t look at this phone, I don’t read anything of his, if he tells me he’s going somewhere I believe it. My trust issues are simply from the past. I don’t believe he WAS where he said he WAS in situations 1-2 years ago… I don’t believe he didn’t hook up with that girl he ONCE texted hey to, all my trust issues are stemming from what you can I guess call it “our previous relationship”.

I know you probably think I had trust issues prior to all of this and him but I’m really trying to think of examples that showed I did but I really can’t. I remember when we first got together we were in different cities…. I would go to sleep fine every night I wouldnt stress what he was doing whatsoever if he was being honest if he was with another girl. I would never look at his phone when he came to visit me. And even until all this happened… before I found out about the 1st girl… he would go out without me I would drop him off at places I didn’t care one bit I knew that guy was in love with me. And I think I took advantage and thought he would never do anything so I was rude and I broke up with him for no reason that first time and look what he did, he showed me he wasn’t as “good as a boy” I thought he was. And then the lies began and everything for an entire YEAR was lies lies and more lies. Now and for the past 11 months, is where I feel confident that he’s not going to beeak up with me randomly, and he’s not going to involve any girls. I know he’s not. But that entire year is such a LIE To me that I’m obsessed with finding out more and more.

I actually found an email he sent me while we were broken up and I’m going to copy and paste it so you can read some direct words from him:

I know this is hard and disgusting but I want you to know the reason I did these things is cause I didn’t care.. I thought I was untouchable and I was so cool and could get away with whatever I wanted. I’ve told you EVERYTHING and I’ve been working on this whole lying shit, there’s nothing more for you to find out, Like you know everything now. I haven’t done anything like that again since agustina and I never will again and I promise to be a better person cause you’re the girl I want to marry and spend my life with forever. You didn’t do any of this and the worst part was the constant lying and me saying youre crazy when in reality I’m the psycho here who should be on the meds. I’m sorry seriously but every since spring I just have been feeling very different as a person and the only thing i just couldn’t figure out how to tell you and hurt you again after melodie since I saw what it did to you. I was scared and a coward or pussy whatever you want to call it. This will never happen again and I just want to start over completely with you. I have no more lies and I feel relieved finally to tell you this even though I know it hurts a lot. I need you and I know you don’t need me at all, but I want to work it out. I haven’t loved you like I have since probably my birthday around that time. I feel different about you now and I would never CHEAT. Once again, If I’m with you and were happy, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror knowing I did what my dad did to my mom. This probably sounds like bs to you but whatever. I love you hope you can forgive me.