Miko,

So you masturbate…”sometimes!”. SO WHAT my friend. It is normal. It is your body. The feelings it brings are your right to feel. I think it becomes problematic when you do this to satisfy yourself to a deeper level than your are with your husband. I think there is literature authored by psychologists and sex therapists that support fantasizing about another person as you masturbate. Have you talked with your husband about this? Fear is something that is created is an emotion projected in the future. Guilt is about the past. You can’t feel guilty about anything that has not yet happened. Think future.

Pearce