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Wrong person, wrong time

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  • September 26, 2017 at 6:44 am #170301
    Miko
    Participant

    So, slightly embarrassed and i hope this isn’t weird, but I masturbate sometimes! Lol!
    And I’m not ashamed of it, I am very comfortable with sex and my husband and I are very open about it to each other. We both even watch porn.

    I tend to have very random thoughts tho when I pleasure myself without porn. Like the wrong person will pop up out of freaking no where and I don’t want to think of them and they keep popping up. And then I can’t envision my husband, and I just feel guilty at this point and stop.

    Like I know that it doesn’t mean anything, deep down. But my mind and fears play with me and make me think it DOES mean something. Then I get anxious and feel horrible and etc…

    I love my husband very very very much. And thoughts like these keep making me feel like a horrible wife.

    What are they, why do they happen, and how can I stop them, or stop feeling so bad about it?

    September 26, 2017 at 9:02 am #170387
    PearceHawk
    Participant

    Miko,

    So you masturbate…”sometimes!”. SO WHAT my friend. It is normal. It is your body. The feelings it brings are your right to feel. I think it becomes problematic when you do this to satisfy yourself to a deeper level than your are with your husband. I think there is literature authored by psychologists and sex therapists that support fantasizing about another person as you masturbate. Have you talked with your husband about this? Fear is something that is created is an emotion projected in the future. Guilt is about the past. You can’t feel guilty about anything that has not yet happened. Think future.

    Pearce

     

    September 26, 2017 at 12:30 pm #170453
    Miko
    Participant

    I am not ashamed of masturbating,  I use it as stress release alot of the time.

    My husband and I both do not like thinking of other people while doing this. This is where we’ve drawn the line. We both feel it’s like cheating.

    Very rarely do other people pop into my head. But it happened recently and I feel bad. I wasn’t thinking of that person in a sexual way. But I went to pleasure my self, and tried getting in the mood and suddenly an acquaintance ( who I had seen that day) popped into my head all weird.

    And I don’t think of him in a sexual way at all. I’m not attracted to him

    O just don’t understand why my mind decided to throw in this image of my friend while I was trying to get in the mood.

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