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Is it possible to continue?

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  • #172341
    Claire
    Participant

    I have been dating a man for the past few months, and it started out beyond what I could imagine a relationship to be. I felt loved and cared for, but I was struggling to leave my baggage behind me. So, I snooped and confirmed he was married. When I confronted him, he said it was for papers, and he told me the whole story. I went back and forth about believing him or not, and I eventually reached out to the woman for what I thought would be confirmation. She said he was lying and said other bad things about him. She said she didn’t want to have any more contact with me because it was too difficult for her. She reached out again that same day asking if I had told him that she & I had communicated; I had not. Reading our communication again, I see how she really could have used everything I said to create her story. I decided to believe him. She later told him I had reached out to her and “attacked her” by asking if they are really married. I had shared some very personal things between him and I with this woman. He was upset about that and said he could not trust me. I continued to see him, and we were working on getting the relationship back to being good. Then the woman lied to him and told him that I reached out to her again. She said she has proof, and he asked me about it. I was/am upset because she is lying to him, interfering in my relationship. He believes her and said he will find out the truth. That is fine because I did not communicate with her again or have anyone do so on my behalf. I feel hurt that someone is accusing me of something I didn’t do and that someone I don’t know – or want to know – is affecting my relationship. Any advice about what to do?

    #173501
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Claire,

    I apologize for my late response. I am not sure how things are now, but things don’t sound promising. It’s all very complicated and not a good way to start or even continue a relationship. If even the word “marriage” whether it’s true or not is mentioned, I don’t “snoop”..it’s not worth it. I run for the hills. Three is a crowd. I won’t share my significant other and I won’t be a homewrecker. They can deny it all they want, but something is going on with him, that isn’t stable, married or not. It’s a toxic place to be. You deserve better.

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