Hi Anita,

Thank you for your reply. Yes, you do remember correctly.

That could be possible, although I don’t think it is only my mother and sister who have the ability but maybe more so the fact that I have this problem with men maybe? My whole life my best friends and closest relationships have always been women for some reason. I think maybe because they understand me better… I am a complicated person and I know that, and I always have a lot to say and express. If it helps for you to know, when I share my problems with my dad he replies with a very quick and sharp solution, and telling me to calm down and enjoy life instead of making such a big deal out of things. Maybe this is why I’ve always had friends that are girls, because they stereotypically elaborate more and I love to discuss and delve deeper into things. My mum is also always trying to teach me that guys are much simpler, so maybe I just have a hard time understanding?

Last time you asked what my family think of this situation. My mum and sister believe he is a good guy who truly loves me and is really trying his best to make me happy. My mum says only I can be the one to decide what happens and it’s just a case of whether I’ll accept him for who he is or not. My dad (although he can see why the way my boyfriend is bothers me) thinks I need to cut him some slack.. he always says “poor guy, leave him alone”

I do notice that when I go about my own things and maybe spend less time thinking about or talking to my boyfriend, he seems to come out of his shell more and misses me more during those times. It’s weird, the whole “chase him and he’ll run away, ignore him and he’ll come running back” is very true indeed, but I don’t want to be playing games with my boyfriend forever.

Friends have also given the advice that if there are ‘red flags’ as such at the beginning of the relationship, that is never good and therefore the relationship will not last. My take on it is; red flags aren’t problems themselves, but the unwillingness and inability to solve those problems are. Right now, 9 months later writing about the same thing, thinking about the same, I’m feeling like the problem isn’t being fixed. What do you think?

Fruzsina