fbpx
Menu

The Spare Tire Effect

Home→Forums→Relationships→The Spare Tire Effect

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • October 16, 2017 at 5:07 am #173349
    Rachael
    Participant

    When I love someone I want to believe in them time after time again… I want to believe things can work. Then like clockwork… I get slapped by reality that this person doesn’t love me at all. My past only comes around for 2-3 months and then gives me every reason why he doesn’t want to talk to me or see me anymore. Then I figure out that 9 times out of 10 it has to do with another female in the picture at that point. I’m tired of being used as a spare tire. I know I do this to myself because I ALLOW IT. I hate that I love someone that pulls this crap on me. I hate that it even affects me and hurts me. The reality of the situation is it really does hurt me…. bad. Everyone tells me to move on… get over it… don’t talk to him ever again… forget about him… but it’s so much easier said then done. I think about him all the time, even when he’s not around for a few months. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like crap consumes me.

    October 16, 2017 at 5:33 am #173375
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Rachael,

    This is how it will (eventually) pan out:

    You will go through a few more cycles of this. Then, during the whole rest of the year he’s not around, you will meet someone. About ten years from now he will be alone and you will be happily married with a family. You will see him from across a crowded room and (are you sitting down?) he will look… Not Attractive.

    Yes, he will one day be Not Cute Anymore. To anybody. And the “nine out of ten times there’s another female”? He’d be lucky to get one female. And it won’t be you because you will be glowing, happy, and adored by a man who deserves you.

    Best,

    Inky

    October 16, 2017 at 6:49 am #173387
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Rachael:

    You wrote: “When I love someone… I want to believe things can work. Then like clockwork… I get slapped by reality that this person doesn’t love me at all”-

    this is what happens when what we believe does not fit reality, we get slapped, we get hurt.

    Reality does not change because we don’t believe in it. It really doesn’t care if we believe in it or not. It is just there, being… real.

    Because reality will not fit what we believe, better we believe in what is real.

    anita

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.