Home→Forums→Relationships→To leave or continue… Dilemma
- This topic has 15 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 9 months ago by
Anonymous.
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October 22, 2017 at 5:52 am #174149
SaniyaParticipantHi
To begin with i hv been very cynical about men… But 1 yr back a guy showed interest in me…. We started talking and he fell in love with me….. Wud do anything to please. Me….. Take. Me. Out anywhere i wanted…. Left drinking js becoz i didnt like it…. N proposed me……. I gradually started liking him….. We wud meet on regular basis….. He wud praise me for my looks my hair my clothes my simplicity n wat not……. I was on cloud nine…. N expressed my love to him…. We came really close…. Though not sex but everything close to it physically
Js a month after all this he started ignoring me…. Saying he was busy in studies…… We hardly meet…… We dont hv those lovely talks on watsapp we used to hv earlier…. Its js about superficial stuff like did u hv food etc….. I try to raise the my concerns…. He ignores. Me n changes topic…..
I feel like he used me for physical n emotional needs n now he is over me…. That spark is lost…
Only thing that keeps. Me. Going is he is a nice person n wud never cheat him….
Wat to do
October 22, 2017 at 6:17 am #174163
InkyParticipantHi Saniya,
Are you planning a wedding? If he is indeed your fiancé, and the date is set, etc., then I would try to work it out, if only to officially end the engagement.
If he is flat out ignoring you, I would ignore him back and let the relationship die out of neglect. Don’t even call him to tell him it’s over. Just drop the rope and move on to the next guy without even telling him.
Best,
Inky
October 22, 2017 at 7:49 am #174179SaniyaParticipantNot my fiance…. No commitment like that But yes he used to raise issue of marriage etc initially now he is not ready to talk about it….
October 22, 2017 at 7:51 am #174181SaniyaParticipantThnx for the suggestion inky….. I hv tried to ignore him but somehow i feel. Attached to him…..
October 22, 2017 at 10:05 am #174199
AnonymousGuestDear Saniya:
You wrote that this guy showed interest in you a year ago. Then you wrote: “a month after all this he started ignoring me”-
For how many months have the two of you been physically/ intimately close? And how recently has he been distant?
Another question: did you ask him why he became distant? Did you ask him that many times and what did he answer?
anita
October 22, 2017 at 10:09 am #174201SaniyaParticipantHe approached me in dec 2016 we started talking… April he proposed me… May i said yes… We were close for one month n in june he started ignoring me…. Reason he says he is busy in studies.
October 22, 2017 at 10:13 am #174203AnonymousGuestDear Saniya:
So there was no physical intimacy before he proposed and before you said yes, that is, before May of this year?
anita
October 22, 2017 at 10:14 am #174205SaniyaParticipantYes… U got that right
October 22, 2017 at 10:52 am #174209AnonymousGuestDear Saniya:
I can see why you think that he may have “used me for physical n emotional needs n now he is over me”-
During that one month, did you try to discuss his marriage proposal with him, ask him about when and where an official engagement will take place, when he will meet your parents and so forth? If so, how did he respond?
anita
October 22, 2017 at 6:12 pm #174257SaniyaParticipantDuring that mnth i didnot discuss anything about marriage…… Rather he used to mention that his family will agree n he had even told about me to his mother that we are very good friends……
Later when he started ignoring me…. I raised the ques once….. N he simply ignored… After that i never asked..
October 23, 2017 at 7:52 am #174317SaniyaParticipantHey anita…. Pls give ur advice on wat to do now
October 23, 2017 at 8:42 am #174329AnonymousGuestDear Saniya:
First thing to do, I believe, is to not have any physical intimacy with him if you meet him in person. Instead, get the information that you need: what are his thoughts and feelings about you? What has changed? What happened to his (unofficial) marriage proposal?
If he tells you that he still wants to marry you, do not have physical intimacy with him. Instead, wait until- and if- there is an official engagement with him, his family and yours involved, before having any physical intimacy with him. Maybe wait until a wedding.
If he tells you nothing at all, continuing to ignore you and keep communication- if any- superficial, that is all the information you will get. It is unfortunate but that may be the reality here: that he prefers to avoid than to confront conflict. In that case, the relationship is over. Learn from it best you can for future reference.
And do post again, anytime.
anita
October 23, 2017 at 9:15 am #174349SaniyaParticipantThnx anita… For ur valuable advice
October 23, 2017 at 9:38 am #174379AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, Saniya. Anytime.
anita
February 7, 2018 at 6:32 am #191203SaniyaParticipanthey…..its been 3 months and the picture is still the same…..we just met on his birthday ……and i hv stopped taking initiative…..i want to breakup but i hv my exams in june ..im planning to end it after exams coz i think before that it wud upset me and affect my exam performance…..but still i hv hope thaat things work out…
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