Hi Stephanie,

Several thoughts are coming to my mind at once, so I will list them in no particular order of importance:

1. He knew of your chronic illness

2. Then you gently rebuffed him because of the vast age difference

3. He literally couldn’t take it and clung onto the first beautiful blonde he could find

4. Spiritually evolved or not, I’m going to be very upfront with you about him. This will get more and more clearer as you get older. People past a certain age who only date younger people do so because no other person their age would have them. You were sweet, lonely and open, but because of your youth you simply didn’t know better.

5. Beautiful blonde women don’t get engaged to guys after only a few months of meeting them. I assume he’s older than her as well? If so, he is being taken for a ride. You confirmed this by finding out her history. The best predictor of the future is the past.

6. When people blare “ISN’T THIS GREAT??” news and pictures all over FaceBook, OF COURSE their friends and family are going to support them on a surface level. But I suspect they are more like his sister-in-law who still like you and think of you. Especially when she marries him, divorces him, breaks his heart, and empties his bank account.

7. People stink at friendships and personal relationships. It used to be an art form, but now with social media and technology, people aren’t as close as they think, and that can lead to despair. I would find  old people or slightly younger people to bond with. Think of volunteering at a retirement community or joining a church group/committee. You want to be celebrated, not tolerated. Some of my greatest friends were people fifty years older than me at the time. Because they’ll see you. Because they don’t want anything from you. Because they get it.

8. Believe it or not, when his romance inevitably burns out, he will track you down. Don’t let him back in!

Best,

Inky