Dear Shirley:

You asked: “How do I help them develop an independent understanding of the lessons by being a guide and not a person who just does the work for them?“- by not doing the work for them, by being assertive with them. It is not selfish to be assertive and to place your self interest first. You need to  do your work first, and then, you need to find time to relax, and be entertained some, then, if you have time and energy, you can help a little bit, here and there.

When a person asks for your help, and you have five minutes to help, you can say: “I only have five minutes. How can  help you in these five minutes?” and then look at the time and see to it that indeed you spend only five minutes helping.

Regarding your question: “How should I  act?” with your special friend, since you and him are shy (that is somewhat afraid)- ask him just one question next time you see him for long enough. Just one question. When you are afraid, you need courage. Planning on doing too much of what you are afraid of doing is overwhelming. So my  answer is: plan on just one little thing, one  question.

anita