Do you think or feel that your current interactions with your mother are hindering your desired progress, your aim to feel your repressed feelings?

to be honest, even if she was away from this world (dead, gone who knows lets take that aside) this feeling of repressed feelings would be extremely difficult, that combined with old waves of guilt etc.

And do you think it is possible for you to heal while in contact with her?

good question, as above, i think the answer is this. considering that like you said no contact is likely not the route things will go – then the answer has a lot to do with: within me, how much do i let her get to me now, how much do i believe the things she says, how much do i communicate with her. how much do i focus on her versus my own life/husband.  these days over the last 4 months i have been able to shift gears towards my own life and husband – and seen reality.  but for sure there is a long long road ahead.

if the contact continues the way that it is – will i someday slowly feel the repressed feelings in the way i want to? truly FEEL them, and not just have them as a passing thought or something.  will i be able to focus on them, and not have my mind go to the peripheral person (such as above) so that i don’t tend to focus on the heavy issue at hand.  i do hope so, with distance, practice, time, and the guidance of supportive individuals.