* Dear calisister and Cali Chica:

I just read your post on this thread, calisister. Then I re-read your response to it, Cali Chica.

Same of what I wrote a bit earlier holds true: suffer without lashing out. But now, I have more information and it is more than lashing out that is the problem. It is micro-managing others, specifically calisister. It will take, Cali Chica, that you notice, that you pay attention when you are about to micro manage calichica, or right after you did and take a pause, then suffer the urge while not acting on it.

If you already said something, already started, tell calisister: oh, I just noticed I started to micro manage you, and then stop.

Do it again and again: notice and stop.

If you fail to notice, calisister: you can tell your sister: you are micro managing me. Tell her not in an aggressive way. The point is you can work on this as a team, two in a team, compassionate toward each other and working for a common goal, helping each other.

This team work will take time, perfection at this point, in this regard is impossible. Changing mental and actual habits is difficult. It takes time and ongoing effort, patience with the process and each one of you being gentle (yet assertive) with your own selves and with each other.

anita