Dear Mark,

Thank you for your encouragement. Well looking back at my past childhood. At a certain point in time, my family was really struggling. My parents failed their business as my mom were betrayed by her siblings who were working for them. It caused them a huge debt. My mom was really broken back then as well as my dad. But my mom was more in pain in my own perspective, as i saw her crying and constant breakdowns. It was really hard for her as her own blood related family betrayed her for money. But no matter how hard it was, she always manage to wake up early in the morning to cook for us, to bring us to school every day without fail. For that I have always admire her strength, her love and her perseverance to take good care of us. Sometimes she gets angry easily because she’s very tired and she still needs to take care of us. My parent’s hardwork and love for us makes me feel like I really owe them alot and someday I know I can repay them for what they have given me and my siblings. Maybe this contributed to my people’s pleaser behavior, I don’t know.

Now looking back in my teen years, I was a very timid and awkward individual. Being skinny and small, always being called a stick and sometimes look down upon. But I managed to get past that stage by working on myself, going to the gym eating more. As i progress in the gym, my confidence grew as well. But fast forward to my current situation, I did realized that all these while I may have neglected building my inner confidence. After going through these tough times, I realize I wasnt that strong after all even though I have a big body. I was weak in the mind and heart, still that timid kid inside of me…..it’s sad to think of it. When you think you’re on the right track but you realized you’re not. And you realize it from the people who was in and out of your life, people who gave you meaningful lessons that really teach you about who you really are.