Hi J,

I’m very sorry this happened. I have always believed in the quote “if a man really wants to be with you, he will be with you, no excuses, period.” I would not count on him coming back. I agree with the post above. It was very immature and disrespectful of your feelings to break-up with you in such an innapropriate manner. Let’s say you do get back together? Could you honestly trust him? Would you be constantly be fearful that one day, because he doesn’t know what he wants, you will receive the same “break-up” message”. Don’t you feel you deserve better?

Never make someone “your life” because then you are putting your happiness in control of someone else, and no one wants that responsibility. Men can sense neediness and clingyness, and they will distance themselves. They don’t want to be someone’s life. They want their significant other to have their own dreams, friends, hobbies, passions, goals, they don’t want a fearful girlfriend, because if you have fear, you can’t have dreams. So, what you can do, is learn to enjoy your own company, and love yourself. Only then, when men are you independent, such as single and happy with your life and hobbies, you will find yourself attracting the right man..a secure man. Like attracts like. What you are, will attract the same in a man. If you are fearful, anxious, need a man to make you happy, worry, co-dependent, don’t have hobbies, goals, dreams and aspirations, you will attract the same in a man..a man, who is also not secure, one who is fearful, depenndent, anxious, disrespectful, distant, etc. My best advice, become happy being single, get involved with volunteer work, work at a soup kitchen, animal shelter, go to a nursing home and talk to people who are lonely and have no one. Find hobbies, join a bookclub, go out with friends, join a social club, be happy without a man. As soon as that happens, you will attract the healthy, emotionally available, loving man you deserve. x