The most distressing thing though as I have said recently is this forced feeling about my puppy. I think I am rather traumatized still from my old dogs death. Who looks very similar to this dog. I also always dreamt of getting my own dog. Rescuing him and him looking a certain way. And I guess my puppy does not look this way and he came un planned. One of my most bothersome thoughts is “if I saw him walking down the street, would I think he’s cute?”

Why do I have such horrid thoughts. He’s an animal. I love animals. Why is this happening.