Dear Martin:

In your original post you wrote that when your ex girlfriend decided to end the relationship, it was “much to the shock and surprise of my friends and family”- I am curious why you didn’t write that it was a shock to you, first, why you referred to your friends and family being shocked by your breakup?

Is it, I wonder, that their evaluation of your relationship and the breakup is more valid in your mind than your own?

anita