Hi srk,

In reality controlling of the mind is not really possible. The less we try to think of something, the stronger it will get. The mind does a constant interpretation of the things we experience; the experiences that are going on externally or even the ones going on internally in our head. We can’t stop the mind from stirring up thoughts, it is what the mind does. That’s its job. Thoughts will come, but what we can do is to stop getting onto ‘the train of thoughts’. Notice the difference between ‘thoughts’ and ‘thinking’. It feels like ‘thoughts’ come by themselves from nowhere, but ‘thinking’ is a choice. Thinking starts when thoughts go unobserved. You can either be thinking OR be aware of your thinking but not both at the same time. Your job is to become the awareness behind the thinking. A thought comes up but you don’t need to follow wherever it takes you. Don’t analyze your interpretation or connect it to a memory. Allow the thought to come and let it pass by. Just imagine how we swipe between the screens on a smartphone – Next -> Next -> Next. Swipe the thoughts on the screen of your mind.

In Zen, meditation is not trying to get into some sort of trance. It is not daydreaming or to stop thinking. Neither should you try to control your mind. Zazen (a Zen meditation) is to practice to experience directly. To not pass judgement or analyze your sensorial experiences and thoughts. For that is all they are- just your senses being triggered. It is not reality itself. Just sit and let the thoughts/images in your head pass by. Thoughts may come but you will not follow them.

“..sometimes suddenly few thoughts and bad memories, related to people and past events get triggered in my mind. I tend to over-analyse the past during these times, about the things I should have said or done during those times. Imaginary conversations..”

Next time this happens try counting your thoughts.

Counting you thoughts exercise:

– As you mentioned you are already aware that these are imaginary thoughts. You will have to catch yourself when your mind begins to wander…when your mind begins to start creating those stories. Realize that your mind is starting to create those mind- movies.
– From now on make it a habit of watching your mind to be aware of any upcoming thought as if a cat is consciously watching a mouse hole – with absolute alert stillness. You can try this now to see how it feels. You can even say or ask yourself – “I wonder what is my next thought going to be?”
– Stay in ‘alert stillness’ and notice/observe the thoughts as they appear on the screen of your mind
– Begin to count the thoughts as they arise

I should have said this to her (1), She did not tell me about the affair (2), That really dissapointed me (3), Im frustrated (4)…..and so on.
– Any single judging, labeling, interpreting on the thoughts that arise, are again thoughts. So count them too. Be alert of the next scene/thought that is going to come on your mind. Any single ‘scene’ wherever your mind takes you is a thought to be counted too.
Don’t try to stop any thought, ‘allow’ it to come. Your job is to only count that.

Do this for a few minutes, maybe 1 or 2, or continue if you want to.
Note down the count of thoughts. Keep doing this practice regularly and see the change in the numbers. You will notice that the count of thoughts during those troublesome situations will have been reduced. If, at a later stage, it takes a long time for a thought to come up then you are on the right track.

This simple act of being alert and mindful of your thoughts will itself slow down your mental activity giving a feeling of increased sense of peace and calmness, a sense of being present. This happens because, when you are counting the thoughts you are no more getting pulled onto those thoughts….not jumping onto that train of thoughts. You have become aware of a thought by counting it. You have detached yourself from your thoughts. You and your thoughts are not one now.

Regards,

VJ