Brooke,

I agree with anita.  From what I took from your post is that your insecurity and anxiety sabotaged your relationship with your boyfriend.

…a lot of female friends

…talking to a female at a bar and did not come right away when you interrupted them

…comparing yourself to his family in terms of making him happy

…trying to get him not to associate with his sister-in-law, basically having him separate from his brother

…don’t trust him because he hides some things that he knows that will upset you

Sure the sister-in-law is mean but from I can discern most of these issues are of your own making.  It comes back to your insecurity and anxieties.

Address them with therapy.  If your boyfriend wants to continue to work on the relationship then get some couples counseling as well.

Mark