Derek, I really love some of the advise that both Anita and Inky have given you.

There is a qoute I want to share with you that changed they way I am in relationships for the better.

“Your job is not to seek for love, but to look at all the barriers within yourself you have built against it.” ~Rumi

On this life journey we all experience 3 top core beliefs areas that we are to release from. Love & Money are the most common two.

You are on track in your relaitonship. This is what your relationship is designed to do for you. Release the Love Beliefs (barriers) you have built up.

Your ego will use those beliefs to keep you safe because it’s your current level of safe you have created for yourself. Just like you stepped up in your acidemics for growth. It’s now time to shift in your soul-growth work to your emotional side for awhile.

You are not the only who struggles with perfectionism. Yes, I too am a proud #RecoveringPerfectionist.

Seeking high levels perfectionism is all ego, because perfectionism is a false illusion.

Your partner is right we are human allow yourself to be human in more little steps like you did in posting this without reviewing it.

Next, get control of allowing your ego to focus on your judgmental thoughts on your partner. If you allow this to happen it will end the relationship. I promise. Or you’ll both be silently miserable.

I’ve had clients come to me with this “dirty partner/spouse laundry list” all your ego is attempting to do is keep you in your current love comfort zone. It’s your choice to grow though this and not let it rule.

Some Love beliefs I’ve personally released are – perfectionism, doing-doing-doing to being & doing life, attatchment, and owning my soul truths and value w/o enternal validation from people or things.

Your partner is your BEST mirror for you on where to look at healing these love beliefs and where to grow forward. You are right on track in this relationship.

One last thing, a lot of people don’t know their personal values. Cleary you value education highly and probally one of your top values. You partner my not in the same way you do. We all usually live out 3 to 5 at most of our core personal values. Your relationship will have it’s own values too.

My partner and I have one common of our core personal values – FREEDOM. However, this is not the case in all relationships. You have to decide if that is a deal breaker or a way to honor your individuality instead.

Hope this is helpful to you and your love journey.
Jen

• This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Jennifer Ann.