Hi Neha. Love how you reached out for some help on this.

I wanted to share one big thing I have learned on my own journey about relationship dynamics. It’s ego vs soul. There are many of us who don’t realize when we are engaging that we are either engaging ego to ego, soul to soul or ego to soul.

Your Mom’s statements from the way you describe have come from her wounded ego self. She, like most, are unconscious to this occurring.

You’re taking her actions or lack of actions or words too, personal is common because that is your ego-self responding.

This happens until you begin loving yourself deeper without the need for external attachment and validation of it coming from others or things.

Please note I am not trying to diminish your Mom’s behavior. But the more you see that it’s lacking what you need to more signs you will find for this to occur. Because she is making love conditional from some of the statements you said. But you can’t control her and her thoughts or emotions.

You can, however, control yours. When I learned to see that I’m engaging with someone’s ego I stopped taking things personally that others say, do or don’t do.

I am curious one piece of clarification – Does she really say and act on “how she owns all the money I (you) earn and save” – meaning about your money and takes it from you? Or is she charging you rent and such because your an adult now?

Sarah I love your self-awareness you are alllowing yourself to have. This is allways the first step and often the most overlooked. So be glad you gave yourself this first step.

I can relate to internalizing what other’s externaly have done to us. I could give you a list of about a dozen things I have relaeased from controlling ego. Yes ego. I’ll explain in a sec :).

We each have an ego and a soul. Our ego uses our current safety zone, regardless if it’s a healthy one or not, as a safety set point. I’ve learned through L.O.V.E. Journaling to get these none serving ego belifes out of my subconscious so it can no longer use them against me.

In your case your ego has taken on the “cocky” tone your dad used and you have the inner war showing it self to you because you ready to release it.

I love your other deeper awarness that you know it’s about your worth/value of yourself and loving yourself.

Your other factor here I see is your loss of personal power from these child wounds and it’s common. You are not alone in this. 🙂

I love helping women to get to their #SoulTruths and ditch those none serving (wounded) ego beliefs so you #RockYourIndependence emotionally, spiritually and financail. I don’t want to overwhelm you with more if this is not recognating for you. If it, please ask more questions and I’ll be glad to keep on going. It’s my jam so I could talk about this endlessly.