I feel like you may come from a background where arranged relationships/marriage are common? If you could clarify that would help. The reason I believe this may be true is because you are an adult and still allowing your parents to make such decisions for you. This is common, for instance, in Indian relationships where dating still has a social stigma and people often hide relationships for fear of being disowned (just as you mention). If this is relative to you, any advice needs to be given through that lens.