Hi Neha. Love how you reached out for some help on this.

I wanted to share one big thing I have learned on my own journey about relationship dynamics. It’s ego vs soul. There are many of us who don’t realize when we are engaging that we are either engaging ego to ego, soul to soul or ego to soul.

Your Mom’s statements from the way you describe have come from her wounded ego self. She, like most, are unconscious to this occurring.

You’re taking her actions or lack of actions or words too, personal is common because that is your ego-self responding.

This happens until you begin loving yourself deeper without the need for external attachment and validation of it coming from others or things.

Please note I am not trying to diminish your Mom’s behavior. But the more you see that it’s lacking what you need to more signs you will find for this to occur. Because she is making love conditional from some of the statements you said. But you can’t control her and her thoughts or emotions.

You can, however, control yours. When I learned to see that I’m engaging with someone’s ego I stopped taking things personally that others say, do or don’t do.

I am curious one piece of clarification – Does she really say and act on “how she owns all the money I (you) earn and save” – meaning about your money and takes it from you? Or is she charging you rent and such because your an adult now?