KD,

I was thinking of the restorative justice model that may be able to applied to you and your father’s situation.  Even though it is normally thought of being used in the criminal justice context, I think the principle(s) can be applied to your situation.

Restorative justice processes ideally allow for a voluntary, face-to-face dialogue between the person who committed the harm, the victim, and community members supporting the person who harmed and the victim. This dialogue is intended for the victim to identify his needs, and for the person who harmed to take accountability for her actions and to come up with ways in which she can meet the victim’s needs. Restorative justice does not seek to alienate or isolate people who commit crimes, but instead to offer community support that will allow the person who harmed to successfully meet her obligations to the victim.

Types of restorative justice

http://www.naag.org/publications/naagazette/volume-8-number-10/what-is-restorative-justice.php

It seems to me that being able to sit down with your father (or video conference) and have a conversation with him about the harm you experienced without blame or shame.  The focus is healing for yourself not to beat up your father.  Obviously your father will want to participate in such a process.  A mediator may be needed.  A counselor perhaps.

The healing may include your father giving an explanation for his behavior and taking responsibility.  For you, the healing may happen for just being listened to and heard by your father without him being defensive.

Mark