Great work! Love to hear your thoughts as you progress.

I found that a turning point with my work on the ego came with the realization of the role ‘ego’ has in experience.

Following literal practices, I attempted to kill the ego. I wanted to live with total detachment from the ego/self… only that tended to lead to indifference and depression.  I was unintentionally creating a resistance to the flow of Life.

Instead of seeking an literal ego death the practice adapted to one of symbolic ego death and its transformation. This lead to accepting the ‘ego’ place within experience.

Today I feel the ‘ego sense of I’, to which all communication of experiences relies on, is just that. The ego is the part of us that relays information about experiences, particularly when we verbalize the experience. (Try talking about experience without thinking I) It is through the ego communication that the opportunity arises allowing the unconscious to become conscious – awakening. The trap is to mistake the ego sense of ‘small s self I’ experiences as the SELF.

Instead of killing the ego the ego was befriended similarly to the befriending of the mind and body. The befriending removing resistance to the flow of Life as it is.

I do not ‘know’ what the self is, even if it exists. I do ‘know’ what it is not. The ‘I am’ is not the ego or the body, or the mind… perhaps it is the still point that observes experience of ego, body and mind… When ‘I’ sense the still point, trying to observe the observer, it just laughs at me ?