Yes, I’m sorry. I did get your reply. I found that your comments were very helpful. I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear before. My goal at the moment is to deal with my depression through creative writing and expression. This piece on bulimia came to me when I thought of how very few people understand what it is like. Suffering from mental illnesses most of my life has allowed me to look at the world in different and unique ways.

My goal with this piece is to be as authentic and wholesome as possible. Although I have suffered from major eating disorders in the past, I have never experienced bulimia.

I am hoping that I can submit my work to a literary magazine and hopefully change the rather narrow viewpoint a lot of people seem to have on mental illnesses.

As for hating yourself being a drug, I certainly think it can be. You become used to the feeling and develop a strange kind of addiction to it. A lot of people with eating disorders carry the immense burden of self-hatred and guilt, myself included, which is why when you view it as removing parts of your toxic self, it can be exhilarating.

I hope that makes sense.