I find comfort in knowing I’m not alone in this and at the same time my heart goes out to you guys who been through the same. It’s so hard I know it is. I feel this constant fire burning in my chest. And its so hard to let go of this person I believed him to be. And to forgive my self for going through all this. And for sticking it out until the end. I should have left sooner. But I was so I love with him and with something like this I just had to be sure. I wanted to be sure. I think the hardest part in the end is I feel like I don’t trust myself anymore. It’s almost as if I’m punishing my self. When in reality there’s nothing I could have done better or differently that would have changed the outcome. I was never ment to be taken serious.