@shantigirl

Hi Shantigirl

I am sorry for what has transpired. I know it is a difficult phase that you are going through and some days are going to be good and some days not so good. However, you gotta keep your head above the water and aim for the best.

Sometimes not getting what you want or desire is the BIGGEST blessing you can get from the Universe. I have had so many such blessings in my life and I am so grateful for whoever is watching over me. I know the same being is watching over you.

Hang in there and live in the present moment. Do things that make you sing and dance in joy. Forget about the past and don’t stress about the future. What we do today is determining every second in the future. So make your NOW the best and your future will be bright. Your dreams will unfold right in front of you if you let them.

And one more thing: If a guy who claims to love you but is not willing to sacrifice anything for that love (regardless of culture differences etc), is he worth spending any more tears on ? NO. A beautiful life awaits you. Go make something good out of it 🙂 Do anything but just go out and do it !!!!!

Sending you heaps of love and positive energy. I know you are going to be just fine.

Jasmine

Shantigirl, listen to jasmine. She is very, very wise.

Hi, Shantigirl.
I am going through this as we speak. My boyfriend told me after the start to the new year that we cannot be together because his parents are searching for a wife for him. I was indescribably heartbroken. I have talked to my friends and my family. No one seems to understand; they can only tell me that things will be okay in time. That is actually painful to think about right now. How will things be okay with time if I only imagined that time to be spent with him? We planned to travel to Europe together this summer, but those dreams won’t happen. I know he deeply loves me still, but I feel so alone and lost. We are still in touch, and I feel like I am racing against time until his family decides his future. Do you think we will still be friends? There is nothing more that my restless soul wants right now than him. He has brought out the life in me again. I need to find out how to get that back. It will be two weeks since we began to let go and things haven’t been let go completely yet. Tomorrow I will send his birthday package as I promised, and after that, I think it will be best to distance myself from him as much as possible. I feel like no one understands this level of heartbreak. I have broken up with someone before, but never have I had to create a break with the most loving, trustworthy, and compassionate man on earth. How do I get over this?

Thanks,
Jemma

Hi Everybody,

I’ve been seeing a sweet Inidan man for the last 6 months (here in the U.S.), and to my surprise he just told me loved me last Friday. Well, this morning he left on a plane to India for two weeks about an arranged marriage to placate his parents. He told me that he’s 99.9% sure that he’s not going to agree to it, but reading this post now has me worried!

We’re both in our 30’s, and he has two children from a previous relationship (with an Indian woman here in the U.S.), so I’m not sure how serious this matter is. I do know that it will be a huge weight lifted off his shoulders as he keeps talking about all the fun things we’ll do together when he gets back. And where he told me he wasn’t interested in a relationship before, he now wants to call me his girlfriend. Understandably, I’ve only agreed to wait for him.

My particular predicament is that I’m not in love with this man yet, but that’s because he really hasn’t let me in whereas I’m more of an open book. I’m hoping that he comes back, un-betrothed, and we can really explore a relationship together. He’s so attentive, patient, understanding, helpful. I’ve never been with a man like him, and I’ve never had a relationship like this. I love spending time with him, but I have to admit I have trust issues and he has not been very forthcoming. Haha! I’m hoping this weight lifted off his shoulders will give him the freedom to be more open with me.

I’m not sure if anybody is interested in hearing this journey, but I can certainly keep you posted. I’ve honestly never reached out in this format, and I’ve only told two friends. Everybody else thinks it’s a business trip. So, it does feel good to share my thoughts and feelings here, but I’m just not sure it’s helpful or brings solace to the other hurting ladies on here. I might be joining you very soon! I already miss texting him throughout the day, and I’m trying to fill my schedule to keep myself occupied until he’s back.

Wish me luck please, and pass good vibes. I feel like this is a storyline in a movie, haha! I think I’m still in shock that this is happeneing right now. But at the end of the day, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And I know that if he comes back to me, it doesn’t solve everything. Like, the fact that my white dad hates the idea of me dating outside my ethnicity, even though he was once married to my Mexican mother! I hope these two weeks FLY BY!

I would love to hear more about everybody here as well, as Shantigirl said! I really do feel for everybody here. I’ve been through some heart-wrenching heartbreaks in my time. I’ve been single for about 2 yrs, and I’m ready for love again! The best advice I can ever give anybody going through this is to keep your head up, and be alone for a bit and focus on yourself for a bit. And try not to bring whatever baggage you have to a new relationship – we all have it but it’s unfair to both parties involved. But you CAN find happiness again. You just have to let yourself…

Thanks for listening!
-Bobbie

After five years of loving my Indian boyfriend, first after having met him online when we were only 18 and 20, and then seeing him come to North America to finish his education and launch his professional career, all the while in hopes we may eventually get his parents to approve, now finally the time for him to seek their permission is only a couple of months away and I feel crushed by stress. He finally admitted to me that he holds very little hope of getting their approval and must abide by their decision if they deny his request. Part of me respects the different culture he was raised in, yet I suffer bouts of even physical pain knowing he doesn’t love me enough to need me in his life. It is tearing me apart right now and I’m feeling like I’m on the verge of cracking. I wonder, if their culture makes loveless marriages work, can I inflict that on someone here merely so I can have children? Thinking of him moving on quickly to an arranged marriage makes me sick, I can’t fathom how he can do it and it makes me feel he can’t really love me at all. I am beginning to think Indians don’t understand love other than in the family sense, like they are raised in a cult like environment where they are brain washed to only value family love and to shun romantic love