Dear Anita,

I used to love the quote: “in the midst of chaos, keep stillness within you.”

I loved it because I admired it, and could not relate to it.

Nowadays  I can’t say I relate to it completely, but I do notice glimpses of it.

This brings me to your point:

Containing the anxiety is about slowing down. At least, in your brain, slow down. Do what you do, at work, but keep your brain slow, calm, alert but calm. Your medical practice of doing just that is helpful as training to do the same thing outside of work.

I love this last line.  I sometimes find it hard to use the tactics I do at work, when I come home.  This isn’t even because of home issues, it is even by myself.  It is as though at work I have a more dedicated discipline in my mind, and am more “strict” in the sense of – keep calm slow down.  When I get home, often things can become “looser” and with that the anxiety can creep in.  I find this ironic actually because in a stereotypical sense you may expect someone to be more tense at work, and less at home.

I also find that because my work is intense and very busy, and I don’t allow myself to get inundated with anxieties while I  am there.  However, perhaps the gates open when I leave this environment.  Some of this is inevitable, and also healthy (need to keep gates open).

However, I like the point you make: do what I do at work, keep my brain slow and calm.  Alert but calm.  It will be more of a deliberate practice to do this out side the work setting, as I will have to enforce it in a scenario I usually don’t.  It will also be more deliberate in social settings such as future dinners, or interactions with others.

But like I have said all month, it will all be practice.  Today when I head home, I hope to keep this in mind. I can employ similar tactics of calmness.  Just because I am no longer at work, doesn’t mean my body and brain have to be bombarded by all the anxieties floating around.  I can go bit by bit.