Dear Ash:

She sounds like a lovely person and you do too. Regarding the question: to wait for her/ pursue her or give up and move on, one important factor in making this decision is how much patience do you have. How long can you go on not knowing if she will become interested in the future, or not. Living in this ambiguity, not knowing, guessing, hoping, thinking and trying to figure our what her every word and act means: interested-in-me or not-interested-in-me.

Her words and actions from what you shared indicate that she is not interested in you as a boyfriend, that she is not interested in anyone else as a boyfriend, that she is very busy but still social. There is no indication that I see that she is unlikely to become interested in you individually, nothing she said that she dislikes about you and when you unfriended her on Facebook, she didn’t like that. If she had the desire to not have you in her life, she would have let it be, I am thinking.

So you don’t know. How much patience do you have to keep waiting, is the question. And how is this state of mind of not knowing affecting your emotional health day after day (and for how long has it been affecting you these ways)?

anita