@anita Hi Anita, what you’ve explained could very well be true, I really don’t know. I’ve never thought of myself as a deep person. I feel what I feel and most of the times, I act on the shallow emotions that I feel. I don’t tend to analyse them very much. I’m just thinking out loud here, but it’s almost like, I can’t undo what I already know. I know of my family, and I’ve spent a good 18 years of my life living with them, I think it makes sense that I would be thinking about them from time to time. But on the otherhand, there’s something telling me that if they aren’t worth being in my life, then I wouldn’t be thinking about them at all. The fact that I will think about them could mean that maybe they are worthy to have in my life.

Before they move in with me, I was living alone and rarely contacted them, I was completely ok. Only now that I’ve decided to cut ties with them, my brain is thinking up of all the “ifs”. I feel like only time can answer these questions. I tend to overthink and doubt myself alot, so this may also be one of those moments as well, I really hope that it is.

@Peter Thanks for you insights. I rarely think in term of “I’m a bad person/I’m a good person”. What I do think is whether I am good enough. Whether I truly deserve these achievements. I just want to know objectively what my real ability is. That’s why I dropped out of college, I didn’t take my parents money, and started working minimum wage right when I turned 18. I wanted to know had I not been given money, or a college education like a good amount of the population, would I amount to anything. I usually compare myself to the people that started with nothing, rather than the people that were blessed with money and a good education.