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Hey Andrew!
First lets get this clear, depression is not a “problem” its a sign so you don’t need to panic and think that something is “wrong” with you. Please don’t be so hard on yourself and learn to accept these “bad” thoughts along with the good ones because they are a part of you…its not something to be looked upon with hate.
Secondly, you need to really zone out and observe your thoughts. Think about what you really want? what truly makes you happy? Who or what is stopping you from doing the things that you want to do? What would you do if that obstacle didn’t exist?
Remember, that no one has to live a certain way because they are expected to. You can literally live your life any way you want. As cheesy as it sounds, the possibilities are endless.