Dear crystal:

Your parents expressions about your sister and their expressions about you were different and made a powerful impact on you. She was the balanced one and you were the (too) sensitive one. She was the stronger, you were the weaker.

So you tried to be like her. This motivation, to be like her, worked for you in some ways, but it worked against you in other ways. Anytime you would like to explore this, if new thoughts or feelings occur to you on the issue, do post again. I will be glad to communicate with you further. If you would like, that is.

anita