Anita,

This post made me cry with happiness. I feel proud for even with alcohol I could stop a situation escalating, rather than wanting to beat myself down over it.

I think how how I described it here may sounds more catastrophic than it was. Anyone I have spoken to says “I don’t understand how you think you’ve cheated on your partner, nothing happened”. My friends laughed because I was part of a drunken hugging circle, of course you’ll have contact.

My ego is beating me saying I told my partner about it in a light hearted way, but I feel that if I allow my catastrophic nature step in, it could hurt him unnecessarily. He knows I was in an uncomfortable situation drunk and foolish where contact was made. Describing a 3 second interaction in graphic detail may cause unnecessary worry and upset for him.

I forgive myself, and I will always forgive him. I have been so excited just to feel his hand and have him close. I want to feel safe again.