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I'm Stuck :( Advise?

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  • #201789
    woollyworm53
    Participant

    I’m feeling so stuck right now, and I am afraid to voice this to anyone around me.

    I was pre-dental all of my college career, and was dead set on becoming a dentist. I sent in my applications after all my hard work studying, shadowing, volunteering, and even being a club leader for dentistry. And despite all of that, I was not admitted. Many of the people I had tutored and even mentored got in, but I did not.

    I thought I was OK with it. But 2 years later I feel like it has changed everything in my life. What I feel like I’ve learned is that I cannot succeed, even despite my best work. I ended up abandoning the dream of dentistry after I realized I was in it for the most despicable, wrong reasons: I wanted status and for people to admire me (because I was always the invisible person, a quiet soul lost in noise, the person that after 12 years at the same school nobody even knew my name), I wanted my parent’s approval (something I felt I could only gain through accomplishments), and I wanted money so that I could do the traveling I always dreamed to do but have still not been able to do. Not because I was passionate about it. It was OK, and it was something I felt alright doing, (I did enjoy the time I spent with my dentist) but I think overall my reasons above were driving me. And I think it is a good thing that I did not get into dental school based on these reasons (they’re quite ugly and that was very hard to type out) but I am now in a predicament.

    I am stuck because I don’t know how to find my purpose. I am so terrified to take a step in any direction, so terrified that I will enter something for the wrong reasons again, that I don’t pursue anything at all. I feel like there is no hope for me.

    I took a job to pay the bills, (which it barely did…) but there was no passion for it. And I feel like every day my time is dwindling down, and I feel like such a failure. I feel like I have no purpose. And more pathetically, I feel like I will never find one.

    I talked for a counselor for a while, before my family moved and I had to quit my job to move. (I can no longer afford to speak with her). She said that it was necessary to first find myself, but I don’t even really know who that is anymore. And I never got the chance to speak to her more about it, because of the move and etc.

    Any advice? 🙁

    #201821
    Mark
    Participant

    woollyworm53,

    How old are you?

    I can identify on wanting/needing to find one’s purpose.  I am still looking in some way.

    What I have done was to take an inventory of things that I like to spend time on, what things that I am good at, what things that I enjoy.  Then I would break down the parts of what constitute those activities and what skills are required.  Ex. I enjoy photography.  This constitute being visually oriented, capturing scenes/beauty, skilled at editing the resulting images, being observant.  I’m not sure how that will translate into something that I can make a living at but it is something that I keep expanding on, i.e. taking classes, publishing on social media like Instagram, showing my work in coffee houses, networking with other photographers.

    It sounds like you are in survival mode which means the main focus and energy is being devoted in paying the bills.  This is a very hard place to have the luxury of thinking about life’s purpose.

    Start small.  Keep a daily journal. Do something that you enjoy everyday no matter how small it is, e.g. take a walk, meet with a friend.  Out of that will emerge things that will help you know yourself and your purpose.  Don’t pressure yourself into having to know right away THE right thing to do for your entire life.

    Mark

    How to Activate the Life Purpose That’s Right Under Your Nose

    #202049
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear woollyworm53:

    You wrote that you tried to be admitted to dental school but you were not admitted, that is, you were rejected, correct?

    You listed the reasons you pursued a dental career, suggested these were the wrong reasons.

    But why were you rejected by dental school, why were the reasons of the dental school for rejecting your application?

    anita

    #202261
    woollyworm53
    Participant

    Hello!


    @Mark
    : I appreciate the advise. Interestingly, you reminded me of the same advice I received from a friend a long time ago: to do something, once a day, for fun and for yourself. I will try to apply that as I move forward.

     


    @Anita
    : Unfortunately, I was unable to contact the dental schools to see what the reasons for my denial were. I had good academics and an average DAT score. They explicitly said on my denial letter that they could not accommodate calls and emails pertaining to why I did not get in, as there are too many applicants. I will never know why.

    #202273
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear woollyworm53:

    They have the right to not disclose why they denied you? I would think they would have to disclose why. Is there an agency that will advocate for what I believe is your right to know the reason for your denial?

    Perhaps you have the legal right to know and it is an illegal practice by the dental school to not disclose a reason or reasons.

    anita

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